realweenie

The secret lives of Blackberries and their owners

In an email from a distant state:

"My flippin Blackberry decided to spend the weekend at the Post Office - WITHOUT ME. Now, normally I don’t care what my BB does (or doesn’t do) when I’m not around, but for some reason, I think it had too much fun playing with the meters and stamps after hours, because it is taking 2 WHOLE days to fully recharge. All the while I have to call people from my home phone – so now all those idiots that I had to call HAVE MY HOME NUMBER. Geesh, as if the survey people and Policeman Ball solicitors weren’t phone-filtering-entertainment ENOUGH!

Now, of course, several people told me that I needed an iPhone instead of going back to retrieve my new BB Curve. But Why? Would an iPhone make me more responsible as a PDA owner? Would it sound an alarm if left on a strange counter for too long? (Now, PLEASE don’t say “There’s an app for that…”) I don’t think an abandoned (yet obviously partying) Blackberry needs to be replaced with and iPhone when it was user error that I was phoneless for 2 days. IS that fair? Is that REALLLY FAIR?? I think not.

Anyway, I go to the Post Office Monday morning to pick it up and they won’t let me have it because when they searched “home” everyone in my address books home number showed up and they couldn’t verify WHO owned the phone. Only after I recited the contents of my home page, did they reluctantly hand it over. Personally, I think it was my BB’s attempt at spending another night.

Which brings me to this: WHY on EARTH are people so dumb? Of course I am not excluding myself from this question. Inquiring minds just want to know.

 Thanks for listening,

Mariana

 p.s. So, I wrote out this email and didn’t know who to send it to. You seemed like the best candidate. J"

My response:

Funny!  I use a blackberry and honestly they will have to pull it from my cold dead hands one day. I can’t even use a iPhone because of the keyboard. 

 I will have to ask my pearl what it is about the post office. The pearl has the same features and software as the curve but it is much smaller and I like the keyboard better because I can operate it with my thumb which is safer when I am driving or walking.  At this point I mostly don’t want a iPhone because everyone else has one.

 I feel left out though. When people get the iphone all they talk about is iPhones and they only want to talk about iPhones.  Sadly I have lost a few friends because of it and am looking for replacement type friends.   It is rare that I meet someone like you who is so secure in who they are that they don’t have to have an iPhone like the other  kids.

 Thanks for sending this. I think we have bonded in a special way that no iPhone user could ever understand. Lets never talk about it again.

T

True Confessions from a facebook page pimper

By Kelley Koehler AKA @Housechick

I admit it.  I took place in the facebook page pimp fest.

I didn't bulk email suggestions to fan me to anyone, but I put it out on my wall and via twitter. I begged and coerced others to do so on my behalf. If you weren't on facebook or twitter for those 4 hours, then you wouldn't have even noticed my efforts. 

And it was fun!  Heaven forbid we have fun anymore.  I actually enjoyed being social. And at the end, I named my page wheeebacon.  Because it doesn't really matter.

I think the backlash is funny too.  Maybe if I got more spam fan-me emails, I'd be more angry.  But I'm not.  I think it's funny some well-known well-admired social media peeps were on twitter saying how cool it was that people were banding together to help each other get a URL.  Is that so wrong?

I mean, hey - I know my page sucks.  I kinda hate facebook.  It's difficult to use and all I really like are the pokes.  I just thought it'd be fun to get a URL for my page, and I was willing to help my friends get theirs too.  Even if their page provides no value to me other than it was started by someone I like.

I give the hubub a solid meh.  I can always un-fan them later if they're annoying or if I decide I don't want to be associated with that particular page.  In the meantime, I helped a friend get a URL and they helped me get mine.  And it was fun.  I could use a little fun.

Wheee!  Bacon!

Kelley can be found all over the internet and even on FaceBook - - if anyone else has a confession to make, you know where to find me.

 

A social Object for the times

The blue couch is old and worn out and has a log on it so it can't go anywhere. It was abandoned and is sitting in an alley. There is a message for all of us in the blue couch. Don't get old or worn out if you do you may be tossed out and remember that no matter what happens you shouldn't be blue.

Are you a REBarCamp Ho?

 
I put the question out on Twitter this morning, asking what are some of the signs that someone is a REBarCamp Ho.

Todd Carpenter said that you might be a REBarCamp Ho if you have a wall in your office that looks like his in the picture.

I got tweets from some other REBarCamp experts:

@ResPres: You might be a rebarcamp ho if you talk using four crossed fingers as a hashtag symbol. #rebarcampho

@agent21 #rebarcampho When you hand wash your rebarcamp t-shirt so the logo doesn't fade.

@AnnMarieRealtor You might be a #rebarcampho if you tell your husband you are visiting your mother and go to ReBarCamp instead.

@craig42k: You might be a rebar camp ho if your day begins looking for the schedule board. #rebarcampho

@BeeRealty You may be a #REBarCampHo if you came just for the Pokes #IRL

@SarahWV You might be a rebar camp ho if you have more photos of RE.net than your own family. #rebarcampho

@Billlublin if you order eggs and hashtags for breakfast. #rebarcampho

 Are you a ReBarCamp Ho?

I am not transparent

This transparency thing has gotten way out of hand. I am learning too much about some bloggers as they strive to be transparent.  They share things that I honestly don't want to know about.  I hate to sound like I don't care but . . I really don't care what your had for lunch or if you had your annual mammogram.  You call it transparency, I call it too much information! 

Honestly you don't need to write about everything going on in your life on your business blog, I don't think that is what transparency is even about. Transparency is more about honesty and disclosure but it doesn't mean that every aspect of your so called life has to be written about. 

Hyper What?

The Re-net decided a couple of years ago that the St. Paul Real Estate Blog is "hyper-local".  I have no idea what that means.  Perhaps it got the name because it is a business blog for local consumers as opposed to the ever popular blogs about blogging or blogs written for Realtors by Realtors. Who knows why the deciders decided on hyper-local.  The term has no meaning for me but it seems to have meaning for others. Being Hyper-local seems to make my blog special . . I guess being special is kind of nice but does it really matter?  My readers don't care what it is called and I guess I should not care either but when we go out to teach others we should have a definition for hyper-local. Maybe the tern local is good enough? If a phrase is needed how about 'local focus'?

Where is my money?

The nice thing about this blog of mass destruction cleverly disguised as a hot dog stand is that I can vent with little fear of anyone reading it. Especially if it isn't Wednesday.

Ten months ago I listed a condo, a month ago we got an offer and it closed last week.  Selling a loft in St. Paul can easily take a year. This was a nice loft and when it was all over the artist who owned it gave me a hug and a piece of art work that I really like.

I also got a check at the closing table. I brought the check to my former office.  Silly me I thought they would cut me a check since I am the one who got the listing and sold it. I consider myself to be an important part of the process.  My thinking is that without me there would not have been a check to bring to the office.

I was told that the person who cuts checks was out on a community clean up project.  This was on a Thursday.  I asked it it would be possible to get a check on Friday.  I was told that because the person who cuts checks is also the person who puts checks in the bank that I would not be paid on Friday because she would not be able to get the money in the bank on time because of the  volunteer project. I offered to take the check to the bank myself . . as you can imagine the answer was no.

It is nice that they do volunteer work.  I do volunteer work too. I sit on the board of a non profit and I deliver meals on wheels.  In all the years I have been doing the volunteer work it has never interfered with my job.  If I have an obligation to a client it gets done.

Real estate companies do not buy or sell real estate, the agents do all of that and we bring in all of the money.  I would think that paying them would be a priority. I left that company. One of the main reasons for leaving was the way I was treated. My job is very hard and the last year has been a struggle.  I can't work with any company that won't put the agent first.

The person who told me about the clean up day was smiling and told me to have a nice day. When she said that what I heard is "we don't give a darn if our agents ever get paid, it is your problem lady tell someone who cares".  To think she gets paid out of the money that comes in from the agents who sell houses. I am thinking she gets paid every two weeks on time even if there is a clean up day. She maybe even has direct deposit, and the money is just there with no hassle or fuss.

It is possible that there will be some reason that I won't get check today either and it won't be the first time I have had trouble getting a check but thankfully it will be the last time.  

Update

**I am not making this up.  I called today after I wrote this to see if my old office has a check for me.  It turns out that the person who cuts checks is on vacation this week and no one has the password to get into her computer and so they can't cut my check. **

Wednesday on the weenie

Recent events have made me become more anti social than ever before.  Being throw off of a blog after writing 67 posts is kind of hard on the ego and we all know that mine is enormous.  I wish I could say that it is the biggest on the re-net but it isn't even close. Yours really is bigger than mine.  It isn't easy to be tossed from the collective and left out in the cold. The weenie can be a lonely place. I know I can count on both of my readers to stop by, at least I have that.

Today's Wednesday topic is social media experts.

So many of the people who follow me on Twitter are social media experts. These experts are becoming so common place that almost everyone is an expert now. I have decided to distinguish myself in the twitter community by adding this to my bio:

"I am an anti social person who uses media"

I am finding that my use of the internet allows me to be anti-social with more people than ever before. I guess that is the point of social networks.

As I suspected it was hard to top last weeks post but I tried.

The photo was sent by  HouseChick.  I must ask her what kind of a camera she has.  She is an amazing woman and has taken the time to teach me some of the finer points of etiquette after she learned that my parents never sent me to charm school.  For some reason she figured out the charm school thing before I even mentioned it.  Thanks Kelley!  Your super powers include . . . nah I won't go there.

Wednesday's on the weenie

Wow writing on the weenie two days in a row, that has to be some kind of a record and I am thinking both of my readers will be impressed. I would name them but I don't want to embarrass anyone . . oh what the heck. Hi dad!

I have decided to have weenie Wednesday and write on this hot dog stand every Wednesday.  I have provided that type of service for other blogs for years and  it is  time that I started taking the weenie as seriously.    I chose the weenie because  I have the freedom to write anything I want and those who take themselves too seriously don't have to read it and they can't delete any of it either.  I can't be thrown off of this blog or locked out no matter what I write and I suspect that both of my readers will stop by, and read it.

I used to have a Wednesday gig but it didn't work out.  Mostly because it didn't work out. What can I say, I wrote for free and I think that was my mistake I was charging too much.  I am not a writer I am more of a non writer who writes. That is an important distinction. Probably more important to writers than it is to me or my readers. I am not a deep thinker and I don't think correctly which is a good thing because it is unlikely that I will ever write a 5,600 word blog post which is also a good thing because no one would read it. I need some place to be on Wednesday. I would feel sad and all alone right now but to be honest I really don't have any feelings and I am too anti social to really care if I am alone . . which again is a good thing because Wednesdays can be very lonely.

So with all that said you can see where I am going with this Wednesday thing.

Have a great day dad. See you on the net. Maybe later I will go down to the hot dog stand in the park and ask George for ideas on what to write about next Wednesday. He has kept his hot dog stand going for many years.  It will be hard to top this post but I can try.

Business Models and Profitability

My post title is pretty deep for the weenie but don't worry, it really is me writing and I am not one to think deep thoughts.

As the economy and the housing market have been shifting . . LOL that cracks me up, I like to think of it as changing from good to bad . . but shifting sounds more . . motivational.

As I was saying as the housing market goes into the toilet and the foreclosure rate goes through the ceiling and housing prices drop like a rock, or maybe they are shifting downward,  it is getting harder for a Realtor to make a buck without doing some serious work. I can sell 10 foreclosures and I will come out about the same as I used to putting together deals with three traditional buyers or sellers.

I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself though.  Real estate brokerages are really having a tough time of it. Profits are down and they can't seem to make ends meet even though they have raised those extra fees.  Some of the bigger companies have no idea where their next zillion story glass office building is coming from or how to finance a bigger fountain for the lobby.

It all comes down to business models. We all need to lead with revenue and that is why the paper clip issue is more important than ever.  Granted we use less paper than ever and I would prefer to use none at all but we still have those pesky people that have to have contracts mailed or faxed to them, and those seriously deranged people who need them printed and filed.

Staples are cheaper than paper clips but I have found that with a contract if I take the staple out five times to fax it to some bozo who doesn't use email it gets kind of tattered.. . and predictably I can never find a staple remover thingy either. Mine might be in the refrigerator next to my car keys or in the back door where I left my car keys yesterday, but that was yesterday and I don't know where they are today . . .  but that isn't my point.

No one seems to mind footing the bill for the paper but paying for paper clips is another matter.  I found some jumbo paper clips on sale and when I did the math they cost about .0059 cents a piece.  I worked out of one office where I was told that if they bought paper clips the agents would just steal them. This was before times got really hard.  The Realtor code of ethics prohibits stealing, making it hard for me to believe that an agent would steal a paper clip. (Broker Bud I consider the paper clip I took from your desk today a loan)

I used to carry paper clips in my car just in case I needed one. I guess that is why I will never be wealthy because I spend my money on such frivolous items. To make matters worse I spilled some in the car and instead of picking them up, I let the detailers at Saturn suck them up with one of those big vacuum cleaners when they cleaned my car. I suck! I have no business acumen!

Can a brokerage supply paper clips to agents and still make a profit?  I don't think they can.  Can agents buy their own paper clips and make a profit?  absolutely!

Horn blowing

Here at the real estate weenie, the hot dog stand, cleverly disguised as a blog we believe that everyone should blow his or her own horn. After all if you don't  who will?

I just wanted to explore some of the  of obnoxious, ways people try to subtly blow their own horns via twitter.   I blow my own horn loudly each time I write:  I am all that AND a bag of chips.  In my case it is true, and there is no need to be subtle.  

Some of the examples of person's attempting to subtly blow their own horns are getting kind of old. I wish they would simply state that they too are all that AND a bag of chips and move on.

Horn Toot 1, a Realtor fave: "On my way to yet another closing, I am getting tired of having one a day"

Horn Toot 2, a bloggers fave: "I just keep getting more and more traffic on the great post I wrote last week, it is almost creepy"

Horn Toot 3, a political bloggers fave: "I predicted this five years ago, if only they would have listened but they never do"

Horn Toot 4, a business persons fave:  "they just keep giving me raises, where will it end?"

Horn toot 5, social media guru fave: "I have 9,000,000,000 followers on twitter, how can I keep up with it all?"

With some of the tweets reading them now and then isn't all that bad but some twits use them on a regular basis.  I think that web 2.0 is about transparency. I am sticking with "I am all that AND a bag of chips"  That might be too subtle but I have not figured out how to blast a horn loudly via twitter. I am sure iPhone will have an app for it soon.

Hiding?

Spending so much time selling real estate has made it hard for me to find the time to write on this blog of mass destruction cleverly designated as a hot dog stand.

For me there isn't any place to hide.  Put the words Teresa Boardman in Google and within seconds my phone number and email address will pop up along with a bunch of articles and links to web sites.

Yesterday I spent some quality time looking for email address of some of the most prominent Realtor bloggers on what we call the re net. I kind of get why they might want to hide from me but I fear that they may be hiding from prospective clients.

As my writing gets closer to this mans butt I hate to go all serious on you but try to find your own contact information through your blog or through google some time.  I could have been writing on this blog but instead I spent my time trying to find you.

You don't have a lot of credibility with me as a web 2.0 savvy marketer if I can't figure out how to contact you.

Maybe you are afraid someone will find you so you have secret contact information? I might want to try that. It would give me more time for writing on the weenie.

Watch out! The enforcer is watching . .

Unplug, Unsubscribe, Unfollow - Advice from the Enforcer  By: Jonathan Dalton

 

During my tenure as a writer at Agent Genius I had developed a fairly specific role - that of the enforcer. As I told Teresa earlier this week, I was like the Minnesota Wild's Derek Boogard - if there was someone being roughed up, I stepped and joined in the defense. And if there seemed to be an excess of stupidity on display elsewhere in the real estate blogging world, I usually waded into those frays as well.

 

Just as in hockey, the enforcer can exist within this well-defined niche. But it's an often uncomfortable existence As one-time Coyotes enforcer Jim McKenzie put it after a fight, I often was the meat in an idiot sandwich. Not that I'm myself an idiot, but rather that the role in itself was pointless. Others would nod in agreement, glad that someone said what no one else would but, like the players on the bench tapping their sticks against the boards, that's as far as it ever got. And I'd soon find myself alone with my thoughts in my own personal penalty box.

 

As such, being the enforcer isn't good for the soul. And so I retired my skates and my gloves and left to focus on my own blog and my own business. Remaining on the sidelines isn't always easy, especially when faced with the volume of silliness I've seen this week. Setting aside the constant barrage of snake oil salesmen trying to sell you and the other residents of Passamaquody either something you don't need or something they're not qualified to teach, this past week has been rife would allegedly profound proclamations that have little basis in fact and have absolutely no real correlation to the business of real estate.

 

Before I retired I would have written a 1,000-word missive condemning each weenie-worthy statement. Instead, I provide you with this simple advice. If you follow it, I can guarantee you'll not only save your own sanity but find yourself with more time to focus on what matters in real estate - closed escrows or, as Jeff Brown wisely puts it (to the revulsion of my allusion-deprived 10-year-old) skinned cats.

 

When a so-called expert tweets that you shouldn't be hired as a real estate agent unless you own an iPhone, unfollow.

 

When you run across a superficial article that tells you how unprofessional you are for dressing appropriate to the clients with whom you're working, unsubscribe.

 

When your decision to follow someone on Twitter is met with an auto DM explaining how this person can expand your business in ways never imagined, unfollow.

 

When you run across a month-long series of infomercials promoting marketing techniques that lead to the same results (or less) than you already have, unsubscribe.

And when you can't take it anymore, when your b.s. meter overfloweth and your RSS reader is acting as a dementor sucking away your very soul, unplug.

 

Because while it's really nice to have an enforcer take care of the messes for you, they'll continue to happen until everyone voted with their "un" buttons and demands better from the RE.net.

Thanks Jonathan, for saying it on the weenie, the blog of mass destruction cleverly disguised as a hot dog stand.

A Post From the Dark Side

By: Todd Carpenter

Yep that's my job. All NAR wants is sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads, and I'm the guy with the lasers. Now that I'm in evil's employ, I thought I would check in and tell you how it's going.

Evil's dress code is business casual. I don't wear a tie. Friday is casual day, so I can always wear my storm trooper battle gear if I don't have time to iron a shirt.

I'm considering growing a goatee. Maybe that would make me look diabolical and whatnot. @ResPres has one, and he's an evil vendor. If it works for him... hmmm.

Evil hooked me up with a MacBook to do my bidding. Wait... You thought Mac's were a source of good? Rush Limbaugh, Greg Swann and the entire Oakland Raiders organization all use macs. Nuff said.

Evil pays pretty good! I'm totally getting used to receiving a steady check twice a month. Evil even has a dental plan and floating holidays.

Today is April Fool's day. I seriously considered forwarding rebarcamp.com to realtor.org this morning. But that would imply that it's just a temporary joke. Muhahahahaha!!! Oh... wait...

I had to move to Chicago to take this job. So far, it's cold. This is my only real disappointment as I would have thought Evil would locate on a tropical volcanic island or something. At least the hot dogs are good here.

Nice to have you back Todd, you were missed, tell me again what is NAR? - T

The Starz-All because you play to win!

Have you ever wondered how bloggers get those nifty gold stars on the popular network that is for Realtors?

They use the Starz-all, yes the secret is out.  Those gold stars give you points and credibility.  One of our clients started blogging just last week.  He uses the Starz-all and was able to start a new business as a social media consultant.

Here is what he did.  He wrote a blog post about how to blog. It got a gold star thanks to the Starz-all.  His instant credibility enabled him to start a new business  selling his services as a blogging guru and social media expert.  

Your posts deserve this kind of publicity and traffic too, not to mention the speaking opportunities and the chance to start a new business just like Joe the rain blogger did.  Why work hard at it when all you need is the starz-all. It comes with a simple guarantee, write anything you want and get a gold star for it. 

You no longer have to put words like 'power' 'active' or 'rain' in the title either, the Starz-all will work with any kind of content.

You can own this fantastic thingy for $22.95, but that is not all But that isn't all. Order today and you will get not one but two , and  we will throw in a free weenie badge for your active rain blog, and a spatula. We have to limit how many of these we sell, only 10 per state so hurry and get yours today!

Imagine what you can do with the exposure, and points a gold star can bring you.

Do you have a twitter account?

If you have a twitter account, and or a facebook account, maybe a blog or a linked in account then you are a social media expert . . except you are really not a social media expert but . . that doesn't matter, just call yourself a social media expert but be warned that there are now thousands of social media experts . . so it really isn't a very big deal any more.

I have learned a lot from social media experts which is good because I am anti social . . but not as anti social as social media experts are  to non social media experts . . .  I don't want to be a social media expert . . but I probably am . . but so what everyone is. . .   Not everyone but everyone who uses social media . . . which is really a substitute for something else . . . well maybe not but it seems that way sometimes.  The internet has made me anti social so I guess I am an anti social media expert.

I took this photo of Andy Kaufman as ReTechSouth.  He posed for it. I think he looks like a social media expert. . . but he isn't a very good one because he was looking at me as we talked and he posed for this photo instead at the computer and the blackberry.  . . this is all really confusing . . Never mind.

Being a social media expert isn't just for Realtors any more, but being an anti social media expert is just for me.

Bad Realtor!

Click on screen print to enlarge.

Bling, it is about bling

I have worked hard this week to get some products out to help real estate bloggers.  With every product I introduced people still wanted more.  One request I keep getting is for a seal.  Bling is what your really want any way.  Bright shiny things for your blogs. Put it on your blog or put it where ever you want to. Yes it is Active Rain complaint and works on the fruity browsers too.  Yes it is free. It is made from and antique plate and a piece of jewelry. Twenty carat gold of course with half carat diamonds, the rubies are fake but no one will notice.  Nothing is too good for the re-net except maybe ___________

I was planning on releasing yet another product today but have had to stop production because of some problems.  It seems that two of the automatic reply widgets, that come with Comment Magic,  found each other on Active Rain, they went back and forth until they generated 40,000 comments. No one noticed but eventually they will. . . maybe.

Then there is the issue with the crap to content converter.  Even though I programed it myself it seems to generate a lot of spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and really sucks at punctuation.  I don't understand why but am working on a fix.

I am happy to say that Voice-o-matic is working perfectly. It has answered questions in all 50 states and is resting at the moment.  The anonymous buyers and under contract sellers looking for a second opinions have not noticed that their questions are being answered by software instead of a Realtor.I think as long as consumers see all those perky smiling faces they are happy.  It is a good thing because we are all going to be replaced by software one day and now I know we won't be missed.

I hope to be able to launch the Zillonator before the end of the week.  It is top secret and I don't even want to say which site it will work on and at this point I can only Zestimate the price. It will of course be Active Rain compliant and very inexpensive.

Comment Magic

By popular demand!

We are proud to announce another Active Rain compliant product to make your real estate blogging experience more effortless than ever before. This amazing product will help you rise to the top of your state. Comment Magic takes your standard comment "Great post thank you for sharing" and turns it into a comment that is least 12 words long.  As if that were not enough this break through product goes one step further, using keywords in the post it generates comments that are related to the content in the post.  

We know you don't read the posts before you comment and with Comment Magic you don't have to, but we take it one step further.  You don't even have to sign in to leave your comments. Yes!  Comment while you are sleeping or out on the town. Turn it on and forget about it, after the 10 comments are made per day it shuts itself down and automatically restarts the next day, allowing you to get the maximum points each day without having to actually read or even sign in.

This remarkable tool can be configured to determine who has commented on your blog so you never have to worry about leaving a comment for someone who doesn't reciprocate. It can also be configured to comment on the blogs you choose.

But that is not all. Comment Magic can be tailored to your personality with setting like super jerk, condescending, know-it-all, kind and generous,(no one will use it but it is there)  sarcastic, air head or new blogger.

If you buy this remarkable product today we will throw in the Comment Magic widget, absolutely free! This amazing tool will check to see if anyone has responded to your comments and it will automatically generate a reply to the reply.  This is great for post hijacking because the Comment Magic reply widget never stops replying to replies. Like the Comment Magic, just set it up and forget about it.

That isn't all! Buy today for the low low price of $3.00 and the $25.00 monthly subscription fee and we will throw in a weenie badge for your active rain blog two spatulas, and a free reply widget! Like our other products this will work on an innie or an outie!

Is your Trulia Voice loud enough?

 

You guessed it we have another product that we are rolling out on the weenie. In case anyone is wondering what is going on, times are hard and I need to monetize this blog. I decided to sell products that people can really use.

I have developed a tool for making your experience on Trulia voices even better. Introducing the voice-0 -matic. This little gadget is about the same size as a dime but it is loaded with features. 

The voice-o-matic works with any computer it plugs right into the USB port and if you have a 30 port hub like I have, you won't even notice one more USB device, and will still have room for the coffee pot and the  popcorn popper.

Plug it in and forget about it.  While your peers scramble to be the first to answer a question this little gadget guarantees that you will be the last to answer.  While they each take turns giving the anonymous buyer the same answer to the question you can go out and sell real estate without missing anything.

The device uses a complicated antilogarithm developed after years of research.  It can actually figure out when the other agents are done giving that anonymous buyer, or seller who is under contract with a competitor the same answer and within seconds it scans all of the answers and uses the information to create the perfect answer.  Yes the perfect answer!

Plug it in an forget about it. The Voice-o-matic works tirelessly day and night so that you don't have to.  No need to even log in just let the voice-o-matic run. Set it up answer questions in any or all states. It can answer several questions at once and give that all important last answer, the one that is always on top.

Our studies show that if 1,398,309,110 questions are answered you will get a transaction, and one in every 13 of those transactions will close.   Wouldn't it be nice to have an extra commission check or two this year?  Well now you can with the voice-o-matic.

But that isn't all. Order today and you will get not one but two voice-o-matics, and  we will throw in a free weenie badge for your active rain blog, and a spatula.