For the Very First Time

by G. Sax (@gsax)

I am not a REALTOR®, but I work with a lot of them. And what many of them are all gussied up about is the extension and expansion of the federal first-time home buyer tax credit. If you haven't heard, it's an $8,000 coupon for buyers moving into their first house to live in or $6,500 for those who are tired of the house they currently own and want something harder, better, faster, stronger.

It's more involved than all that, but there's a REALTOR® somewhere around here who can explain the dull details. I know these details and other topics of real estate interest because 1) I'm paid to know this stuff, and 2) I have a mortgage to pay.

Yep, I'm a first-time home buyer. Well, honorary first-time home buyer. I'm up to two years in my unique (old), spacious (many small rooms), conveniently located (centralized urban core with public schools that can't compete with suburbs in most high school sports), North End (decidedly not Summit Avenue) home.

Two years go by fast. All the fresh-faced, first-timer things I thought I would accomplish are nowhere near done. My yard still looks like a scabby, balding head. Every room in my house is still painted toupearrhea. Tree branches still dangle dangerously over a never-used phone line still connected to my home.

Alright, I suppose I've gotten a few things done. My front porch has a nicer floor (considering that it was chipboard for 18 months). I made a closet room (does it still count as a 5th bedroom?). And yesterday was a big one: I got all the ducts cleaned and my furnace serviced!

Prior to purchase, the home inspector said we had a fantastic furnace but that it desperately needed to be cleaned. All we heard was "fantastic furnace" and ran that baby hot for two years without so much as changing the filter. Probably because I didn't know there was a such thing as a furnace filter. I'd been renting for 20 years. What did I need to know about a filter?

You should have heard all the weird crap being sucked out of my vents. Cutlery? Decomposing mice? A sack of Spanish pesetas? I could feel my nasal passages clearing as the furnace guys worked their magic. They also cleaned my dryer vent and my carpets. Proud! Exciting! Progress!

They don't tell you how sad and dull you're about to become at closing. Like baby's first poop or smile or tooth or word, homebaby's first painted room or framed artwork or granite countertop is remembered forever. Homeownership ain't for the faint of heart, but it's a lifelong heart tugger once you're in.

Now go put those government coupons to good use and join me in learning the finer points of sump pumps, exterior light fixtures, chain-link fencing, weatherproofing, cabinetry, overhead light wiring, pest control, roofing and siding, drainage, foundation repair, ...

P.S. - If you click that teddy bear image, there's a contest from local company, 3M, to win said teddy bear.